A few days ago I met with a really loved friend for dinner. This sweet girl and I meet once or twice a week and have really deep conversations every once in a while. We are really alike and understand each other very well, reason why we share stuff we don’t share with anyone else.
On one of our meetings last week we started talking about love and dating and she told me something that got me thinking all week long: We are two people that are OK by ourselves, we are happy (or relatively, as much as life allows us, do you know what I’m talking about?), but we feel as if we were in a relationship we’d be happier.
Since my diagnosis, I’ve been putting a big effort on being happy, reading books, looking for information and working hard on activities that help my happiness emerge (I’m making big progress here), and my dear friend made me think about something I’ve been putting aside for a while.
Thinking about this was hard, because it is true, there was a time when I needed to be with someone to be happy. There was a time, not so long ago, when love was perhaps my most pursued goal. A time when people asked me “don’t you have a boyfriend yet? How old are you?” and the first thought on my head was: “Oh for God’s sake! I’m still young! There is time enough for me to find a mate.”
But not anymore.
In order to enjoy being with someone, we need to enjoy being with ourselves first. Not to have this neediness of love. Not to think our happiness depends on another person. Love is something that will come in the correct time and with the right person. But if not, if it doesn’t come, it will be OK, because it’s not necessary on our lives. Love is only another way of being well.
Love is one of the best parts of life, I’m not saying the contrary. But healthy love and healthy relationships is what we need.
Share your thoughts about this topic with me.